Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Lent Rebellion: Bad Timing

It's possible that I have the world's worst immune system.*

Yup, I'm down with a gnarly bug. I'll spare you the grusome details, though I'm happy to report that I was finally able to eat a piece of toast and a small amount of chicken soup.

This is of course a big ol' pain the patoot as far as my Lenten goal is concerned. Because really - who wants to masturbate (or, jesus, have sex) when every movement brings on a wave a naseau?

Day Four and Day Five:

In bed. Solo. Cheap-ass vibrator. Again. And it took a lot of freaking determination on my part, being sick and all. Which leads me to...

Day Six:

Unless something changes in the next five minutes, I'm officially begging off for today. I feel like total crap. And I'm cracked out on sudafed to boot.

Having just updated you in unnecessary detail on the state of my orgasm-having, I hereby declare that from now on, I'll only write about my orgasm(s) of the day if they're interesting or non-existent. Unless, of course, you LIKE my redundant descriptions...

Night night.

*I'm going to take this opportunity to accept full responsibility for my immune system's collapse. This last week, already worn down because of the cold my roommates kept passing around, I stressed my body out by working out too much, put myself in some harsh environmental conditions, and then, sick enough to know better, worked a bachelor party Saturday night. It is completely my fault that I feel like butt. No need to gloat about how you told me so.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Lent Rebellion: Volume One

So, it's harder than I thought it'd be. And, sadly for you, less interesting to blog.

**If you're new here, I'll start by saying that I've just begun my own little anti-Lent, which involves me pledging to have at least one orgasm a day for forty days.**

Just so you know, I'm defining one 'day' as the time from when I wake up until when I go to bed. I'd originally been planning a stricter approach, counting a 'day' from midnight to midnight, that kind of thing. But nah. So, without further explanation...

Day One:

I'll just get this out of the way and say it was a bust.

Yeah, and on the first day. How the fuck did that happen? I'd actually rubbed one out (can girls say that?) the night before, 1am-ish, back when I considered defining a 'day' more literally. But now it doesn't count. What about the whole rest of Wednesday, you may wonder. Ah. Well. Good question. I even had a date, albeit a somewhat malfunctioning, not-really-a-date-date. Which kind of explains my complete failure in a nutshell. I suppose I could've snuck one in between peeing and brushing my teeth with his toothbrush (slight malfunction aside, I stayed over) but my head wasn't really in the right space.

Day Two (and soon to be Day Three):

Right before bed, solo, assisted by my trusty cheap-ass vibrator that I bought for doing toy shows at parties. A nice, lazy little orgasm that sent me right to sleep. I'm gonna guess this is going to be a common theme in the next month and a half. Sorry to disappoint, my horny male readers. Strippers' sex lives aren't always that interesting. In my own defense, I'm dealing with stuff. And I'm fighting the cold that three of my roommates still have or are getting over.

Soon to be posted: My thoughts on orgasms and Lent. In time, this will all make sense. Promise.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Starting tomorrow.

It's settled.

I'm having at least one orgasm a day for forty days as my little Lent rebellion.

I'd been planning on writing more about it, but back to back work gigs today (plus the Super Tuesday-ness of it all) have distracted me. Stay tuned.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I'm open to suggestions...

I'm going to get into the logistics of this later today or tomorrow, but for the moment, I want to pose a question:

If I were to take on a daily goal/ritual/whathaveyou for the length of Lent, what should it be?

The briefest of explanations:

I take my Gramma to church, though I am neither a Christian nor religious. I understand from the cheerful Lutheran service I attended this morning that this Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. Something about Moses and the mountain and 40 days of going without. Like I said, I'll be filling in the blanks later on (though most of you are probably far more familiar with these traditions than I.).

In any case, I've decided that I'm going to have my own little Lent. Or is it a Lent rebellion? I'm not sure yet, but what I intend to do is to choose something - some 'vice' or behavior or delicious food that people may usually deprive themselves of - and do that, eat that, participate in that every day until Easter.

So help me figure out what I should do.

I'm toying with the idea of having an orgasm every day. Maybe some of y'all do this already, but I don't. What can I say. I'm generally single, busy, and have a handful of roommates. Plus sometimes I get so worn out faking them at work that I don't have the energy to get off, with or without a lover.

So that's one idea. If you have any others, I'm all ears...